?

Log in

 
 
16 December 2006 @ 01:09 am
ninelives.ninelives.ninelives.ninelives.ninelives.ninelives.ninelives.ninelives.ninelives.  
I wish this could be
a happy song
But my happiness disappeared
the moment you were gone
Don't think I ever believed that
this day would come
Now all I'm feeling
is lost and numb


I though I'd been to the deepest dark, to the bottom of the sea of sorrow and loss. Never have I experienced what I felt today.
I make myself sick sometimes, and sometimes it's just too fucking hard to grin and bear it.
Everything's not ok.

But I, yes I, miss you
and it's killing inside


This submersive feeling wont pass me. I knew the storm was comming, and I thought it would be a lot easier to take in then it is. Yes, I'm still a new person, no, it's easy. Emotion is a struggle. To allow myself to feel. To allow others to see it. To hope. To dream. To make a fucking statement. I'm done acting apathetic or angry so I don't have to admit, (mostly to myself, mind you,) that I have any other emotions. Being reminded you're human sucks.
This is the beginning of a new era.

I'll always be thankful
for the time we had
We were blessed
I should celebrate
but I feel too sad
All the wonderful memories
just make me fall apart
And it feels like somebody's
stabbed me in my heart


I'm going to miss you guys. You were my everything, my nothing, my world. I miss you already, and it hasn't even been 24 hours. I found your Christmas presents when I got home today. I cried. I cried a lot today. It's so hard to let you three go-but I hope to whatever is out there you are all ok. You are all happy. And know that someone, somewhere is always thinking of you. Someone out there is wishing you the best. And no matter how bad things get, remember the fun we had, while we could have it. My soul has been split from me, and I can't go back to being a robot.

But I, yes I, miss you
and it's killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
want you by my side
I wish this could be
a happy song
But my happiness disappeared
the moment you were gone
Tell me it's not happening
Say it's not as it seems
Tell me that I'm gonna wake up
It's just a bad dream
Please tell me that it's fiction
Tell me it's just a lie
Whatever you choose to tell me
Please say he didn't die
 
 
Current Mood: coldSad.