?

Log in

 
 
18 December 2006 @ 03:47 pm
Don't ask me to hold my breath.  
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you


I'm not trying to "fix" anyone anymore. Not my place, not my business. I don't know everything. That's a lesson hard learned. I really don't. It's all about not being afraid of what I already know.

How to keep people at arms length and never get to close
How to mistrust the ones who supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
How to feel worthless so fast you're helping


I wish it was all so easy. I want to be the beacon, the illumination, the safety. Slowly it's comming down to the line. I have a wish to take care of others; and that is so much more powerful then the negativity of stress and worry. I've stopped caring, by caring more.
If I can affect everyone I meet in a submersive positive, then does that make me positive? Is it about others, or is it about how I feel when i smile?
What others make me smile?
What if it doesn't matter at all.
That thought makes me happiest of all.

I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps
In the course of a lifetime, I never forgot
I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps
I'll show you how leaderships were taught by the best


I'm not judemental. As much as other's believe that, I'm no seperatist. It'd be easier if I was, unfortunately. But I'm not. I'm moving passed. Up and out, bitches.

How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist
How to play all highest when you're really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you're a player and a spiritualist
How to sabotage when you're in tough seas


I really have come through a lot. Conquered a lot of demons. Relished in a lot of sorrow. THrough most of this, I neglected to live. I think that was my problem. Job interview today, this is huge for me. To realize I don't owe anyone anything. The only person that is ever owed something is myself. Maybe that's a self-involved statement; but I'm done caring what you think. I respect other's opinion, but that doesn't make it my own.

I've been doing research for years
I've been practicing my ass off
I've been waiting my whole life for this moment, I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well versed leader before you


I wasn't sure how to cope with the revelation of differences at first, but now I realize the importance of independance. Providence. It's all related inside of it's own misanthroprocity. It's all about the moment, isn't it? I'm done lingering in the past in future. Planning is important, but let it remain that, planning.

How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself
How to know them all the too well by going with them
How to stay stuck in your life hating them


I don't think i ever realized how much I need sleep. Like whoa.
Sweet dreams world.
I'm a back-stabber.

I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps
In the course of a lifetime, I never forgot
I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps
I'll show you how leaderships were taught by the best
 
 
Current Location: Home
Current Music: Guess.