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23 April 2007 @ 12:17 am
Forget. Forget everything.  
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame



Everyone leaves. This is the worst situation I think I've ever glanced myself being a part of. Oh what a tangled web we weave, right? I wish all this would go away. I've never had the desire to hide as much as I do now. So don't take it personal if I'm avoiding you. Don't take it personal if I hate you. Don't take it personal, because I hate it all baby. My life is nothing but hatred and passion and agony and all these stupid things that happen that can't possibly make sense. It's just a random juxtaposition of events I can only have an inkling of a prayer of a thought that they'll all make sense one day.



Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
UNFOLD me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me


It's unfortunate. I'll never know you. You'll never know me.
It's all so fucking unfortunate, isn't it?
It's all so fucking complicated, isn't it?
It all just fucking blows up, doesn't it?
Nothing can turn out right, can it?
Nothing is fucking easy, is it?



Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere else to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe


I don't know how much longer I can cling to this miserable remnant of a life, of a person, of a thought worth thinking. I wish I could get past this juvenile degenerate form of self-pity and loathing, but it's simply spiraling out of control. I can't find anyone to hold onto, I can't find any guidance.
I can't find anything to
slow the fucking
FALL.


Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
UNFOLD me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me



Nobody does what I'm doing. No one means anything. It all is just. Just is. There is no passion. no creative. No happy.
I was so busy thinking of the almost,
I forgot about the was.
Now I am nothing.
And it feels
so fucking
hard.


Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
UNFOLD me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
 
 
Current Mood: scaredscared
 
 
 
Loki: Contemplativebabykamuix on April 23rd, 2007 09:28 am (UTC)
What is up my dear?

What is bothering you so much?

Have you made the move yet?

BTW, this is "All desire, joy, and rage!" :-P
dissolvedgrrrl on April 23rd, 2007 07:40 pm (UTC)
Thinking about the "was" is so hard... thinking of the almost will most likely ruin you because the "was" will come back to haunt you... I'm sorry you are sad...